Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2009 February
2008 January
2007 December
2007 November
2007 October
2007 August
2007 April
2007 March
2007 February
2007 January
2006 November
2006 October
2006 September
2006 August
2006 June
2006 May
2006 March
2006 February
2006 January
2005 December
2005 November
2005 October
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
2004 January
2003 December
My Links
Guestbook
My Website
Friendster
The Art Institute of Toronto
Rawk's Blog
Sillylittlegirl's Blog
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
*HUGS* TOTAL!
give Smilez_Alwayz more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
|
| Smiling |
| 09.30.05 (12:22 pm) [edit] |
I just needed to document what a great time I am having in my room right now.
It's quite strange, because I'm:
Alone.
Blasting Linkin Park.
"Singing" what I can to Linkin Park.
Programming with very little success. (this is kinda frustrating though. but. meh)
Realising that I won't be able to complete this programming assignment by the midnight daedline.
So, I'm not quite sure why, but I'm smiling, and feeling somewhat content. For now. :)
|
|
6 Comments
|
| |
| "If Only" - The Calling |
| 09.25.05 (7:28 pm) [edit] |
"If Only"
What's the way of love?
Tell me your fiction
Tell me your lies
Say to me now, you'll never forget this night
I'm feeling emotionless
My head's so clear
My enemies aren't, the one I fear
You know your kiss confuses
This troubling soul
And I found out
That we're all breaking hearts
That we're all broken hearts
[CHORUS:]
If only love could find us all
We can't mislead to make things right
So instead we'll sleep alone tonight
What's the way of love?
You are thinking I'm crazy
But you're blushing of lust
I've heard a lot of nice things,
but tell me which ones I'm to trust?
These walls we made are glass
And they have been known to crack
But until then
You'll keep pushing my way
And I'll keep pushing you away
[CHORUS]
If you want to take a chance
And try to make things right
You better have a reason to be loved
We all want something more
And it is worth fighting for...
[CHORUS]
And if somehow fate were in my hands
Would it be enough to understand
Why we feel lost in a world so small
If only love could find find us all...
------------------------- -------------
Oh my goodness, this is SUCH a good song. I listened to it on loop for like, 5+ hours on Friday, another 4+ hours on Saturday, and now I've added 2 more songs to my playlist, just cause I did need some new sounds in this room. lol.
Thanks for the songs, Steph, you have the best playlists ever! hehe
About the line that was underlined: Sometimes, it is the "want" that pisses me off about everyone. It's all about what you want, isn't it? What about the other person? IS it really worth fighting for? What about all the other factors? *grumble* I dunno what I'm saying right now. I'm once again procrastinating. Random snippet of what's usually on my mind. :^) Ciao.
|
|
7 Comments
|
| |
| "Your kiss confuses this troubling soul" - If Only, The Calling |
| 09.23.05 (4:35 pm) [edit] |
heh, so, I took this test at the site, and it said I was 47% dork. :( and like, less than 20% in both geek and nerd categories...boo...That's so sad...But then I went back to the site and took this test. Randomness.
The Classic Lover
50% partner focus, 4% aggressiveness, 20% adventurousness |
Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:
You prefer your romance and love to be traditional rather than daring or out-of-the-ordinary, you would rather be pursued than do the pursuing and, when it comes to physical love, you concentrate more on enjoying the experience rather than worrying about your performance.
This places you in the Lover Style of: The Classic Lover.
The Classic Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and is the closest it comes to the classic images of the princess in the tower, or the romantic and chivalrous knight, or the hero/heroine from a Disney film. The Classic Lover is a treasure to find, though it can be
difficult to do so because they sometimes tend to be shy and/or difficult to successfully court.
In terms of physical love, the Classic Lover again can be shy, and often needs more in terms of emotional security to feel comfortable than some of the other Types. Given the right setting, and the right lover, the Classic Lover can be a delight in bed.
Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Romantic Lover (most of all) or the Devoted Lover, or the Liberated Lover.
Congratulations!
If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:
Nerds, Geeks & Dorks
Professional Wrestling
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
America/Politics
Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST |  |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 28% on partner focus | | You scored higher than 0% on aggressiveness | | You scored higher than 1% on adventurousness |
|
|
|
1 Comments
|
| |
| "Because of you" - Kelly Clarkson |
| 09.22.05 (11:31 am) [edit] |
I am finding that I am having those weird phases that I had in first year, where I feel nervous/anxious. My pulse quickens, breathing needs to be forced, and I can't sit still. Something in me just wants to run around, run away. What from? I don't know. Just random, out of no where, I get this. My limbs feel kinda weak, my stomach doesn't feel that great, and I actually feel like throwing up alittle bit. :S
I lost my bus pass and student card today. :( I really hope someone finds it and gives it to infoSource at UCC. Otherwise, I'm gonna need to pay another 100 for another bus pass, or I should just pay per use. :^) I need my student card to get into lab rooms though! grr... I guess I'm walking, or paying for the bus tomorrow. ugh.
OH. My group project in Intro to Software Engineering class seems nice, two are older students (one is a mother of two, the other seems like he could be 30-40), one didn't even show up to class today (just a GREAT way to start the project, eh?), and the other is a friend of m---'s. FAAAANTASTIC :roll: I don't mind him too much though. But the three of us all have Networks together, so I dunno if we're gonna be forced to talk to each other. I'll play it by ear. I was told not to talk to him at all, unless he says hi or something, not until I'm completely over him. I'm not quite sure why I'm not over it yet, I've already established that he's an ass, and a jerk, and a cheater, and I can't trust anything he said, or has ever said to me, and everything that happened was prolly not even real. All lies. All fake. So I'm not even sure what I am holding onto. I'm holding onto a time when I thought I was happy. Really truly happy. But I don't even think the stories/events behind that happiness were real. What am I waiting for exactly? I should have been able to throw all those emotions out the window by now. But I haven't.
|
|
5 Comments
|
| |
| I still miss you. |
| 09.17.05 (8:31 pm) [edit] |
I tried to give you what you wanted. I tried, but it just wasn't enough. I gave things up for you, I put things aside for you, but it just wasn't enough. I am still really upset with what you did. And for you not realising the problem with it. I am still really hurt, and seeing you doesn't help. It just makes me more sad. That you're sitting there, and I'm sitting here, but I still can't talk to you. I know that soon, when I am ready to talk to you, you won't be there anymore. You only had so much patience with me before, so I'm sure your patience is wearing thin by now. I want to fix things. But I don't know how. And I don't know if things can be fixed.
You told me so much. Tried to fulfil what you thought I wanted. Tried to make me see more than just the surface. See a future. and then you told me to forget everything you said. Way to screw with someone's heart. I would've prefered it if you had just broken my heart earlier, and not given me the chance to end it with you. It hurt even more that way. Because my heart didn't want it to end. But I had to. Do you even have any idea how much I hurt, and how much I still hurt? You'd think that 4 months after the breakup, I'd think less about it. But still, every day, I still think about it. And I still haven't come up with a solution. wtf.
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
| Whoa...Blogthings changed their layout! |
| 09.16.05 (8:58 pm) [edit] |
Your Inner Child Is Scared
|
Like a kid, you tend to shy away from new experiences.
You prefer what's tried and true - novelty is scary!
New foods, new places, and new friends are difficult for you to deal with.
Some say you're predictable, but you enjoy being comfortable.
|
How You Are In Love
|
You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.
You give and take equally in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.
|
Ouch. That last part is so true. So painfully true. :(
You Are Somewhat Machiavellian
|
You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...
But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.
You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.
You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!
|
aww, well, that's nice... lol
You Are a Bloody Mary
|
You're a fairly serious drinker, who's experimented a lot with different drinks.
You're a drunk, but a stable drunk. You don't ever let your drinking get out of control.
|
This is NOT TRUE!!!!
C+
|
You tend to notice the big things in life...
But the details aren't exactly your forte
|
I don't know how much I agree with this one....
Your Superhero Profile
|
Your Superhero Name is The Detective Fang
Your Superpower is Electrocution
Your Weakness is Handshakes
Your Weapon is Your Ice Tentacles
Your Mode of Transportation is Kite
|
heheh!
Your World View
|
Your philosophy of life is a sad hotchpotch of the conventions of society, your own convictions and romanticism.
You are not unkind, only staid and unimaginative.
You see women as weak and men as arrogant.
You find it hard to accept the permissive attitudes of others.
You try to convince of the validity of your own standards.
You are not disposed to trust people and do not have a very happy life.
|
hmm...this is QUITE interesting. Not all true. But some are. All this from one answer. You guys should try it out. :)
|
|
4 Comments
|
| |
| "Addicted" - Kelly Clarkson |
| 09.13.05 (7:27 pm) [edit] |
Why on Earth am I still in this stupid cycle? I found out on the second day of classes that the class I was super psyched to take was ruined by m--- being in my class. I was superly pissed off and angry and I was ready to punch something at the end of class (actually, I did punch the wall when I walked outta the room). And I was just really upset for most of the weekend, even though it was a pretty good weekend anyway, cause Logan came for the weekend to celebrate Amy's bday and to check out Kat's Don room and my ghetto closet. So, actually, asides from him being in my class at the back of my mind for most of the time, I had a pretty good weekend. My parents came down on Sunday though to deliver some couches (yay, our basement is more liveable! although, Evan was down there for most of the time just watching tv. lol) and asides from the usual superly annoying arguments and whatnot that we have, dinner was good. We had all-u-can eat jap food. mmm...going back on THrusday for Nach's bday. hehe
anyway. So, Monday rolled around and I saw m--- in my AI class, another class I was quite anticipating to begin and learn in. Maybe it was the increased number of people separating him and I in class, or I was just starting to get used to it or something, but i wasn't mad or antyhing in class. just uncomfortable.
Today, in class, he came in and gave me my linalg textbooks from last year, and sat down in the same place he sat last class (2 seats from me) and after taking his headphones out, said he's gonna drop AI, and asked if I was gonna stay with it, and I nodded. That ended our "conversation". In the several minutes before class started, we both just sat there and said nothing. But I'm sure he was itching to talk to me. I could feel it. lol. But I looked in the opposite direction of him.
Now that I realise I won't see him as often, I'm back to being sad. Why on Earth am I so indecisive?!?!?? I really wanna talk to him now. Someone, quick, tell me why I'm so pissed off again? I'm afraid I'm gonna forget. :( and then I'll talk to him. and he'll think everything's okay. but I don't think it is. but perhaps it is getting better. finally. honestly, it's like the beginning of our "friendship" when he tried to make smalltalk and I barely responded, and I couldn't make eye contact, and could barely even look at him. It's like that now. but I actaully know him. I know more than I want. But there's things I don't know and I want to know. but asides from Ivey, all the other questions would probably lead into something that I'd rather not talk about. Well, I would, maybe I would finally be able to stop thinking about it. but, perhaps it will just launch another waterfall. I don't know. *sigh* BEJEEBUS! Someone just flatten me into an old vinyl record and spin me on an oldschool recordplayer. I'd be too broken to make much sound. and if I did, it'd be the same old sound. *sigh* :cry:
On a good note, I am very proud of myself that I got my laptop set up so that I can retreive files from it on my desktop! :D And I got MSN 7.0! I LOVE the nudging! and the silly face wink! OMG! AND TURT!!! OMG!!!!!!!!! HE'S THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!! hehe
|
|
6 Comments
|
| |
| "Breathing" - Lifehouse |
| 09.05.05 (8:23 pm) [edit] |
| Your EQ is | 87
50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar. |
yiikes....Sucks to be me, eh? :wink: oh well.
|
|
3 Comments
|
| |
| "Sick Cycle Carousel" - Lifehouse |
| 09.04.05 (6:16 pm) [edit] |
oops, seems to have been a while since I've blogged. I've been busy in London: painting, cleaning, setting things up, shopping for some necessary things, seeing people. Good times so far, except for my phone conversation with the landlords. I don't like them. They were bitching about how they've never had so many complaints from one house before, and blahblahblah. I didn't even wanna be on the phone any longer, so when he asked if there was anything else, I was like, yeah, but I think we'll just do it ourselves. And he asked again if he could do anything else, and I'm like, no, we'll do it ourself. So now i'm gonna have to go find a steam cleaner to rent and move EVERYTHING to clean the disgustingly repulsing carpets in this basements. Perhaps all the other people don't complain because they don't care about cleanliness. I'm sorry, but honestly, seeing over 1cm of dust on the carpets along the walls is ABSOLUTELY disgusting! The people that lived here before us did not ever pick up a finger to clean the place, seriously! cobwebs EVERYWHERE, ALOT of dust on the floors, SOILED refridgerator. UGH! SOO gross. I don't know how those people lived there. Like, a week of cleaning and air freshening and the place still has this gross smell to it, and I still refuse to walk barefoot in this house, ESPECIALLY on the carpets. I don't even feel comfortable breathing through my mouth. UGH. DISGUSTING! So the second landlord I spoke to told us that he thinks we have a chronic complaining disorder or something, and I'm thinking, wtf? This is the first time I called! Why am I getting all this shit?!? So I was superly angered by that phone call, and when I'm really angry, I get upset, and I cry. :x I got to the point where I punched the wall without thinking when I went downstairs. GRRR. I'm thinking it's plaster or something, cause my ring didn't dent the wall at all, which I thought about afterwards. GRRRR!!!!!!!!! SOO upset with the landlords. Like, my first complaint was about running water from the toilets, and then they launch into that spiel about our endless complaints. Supposedly they didn't see anything wrong with the bathroom floors upstairs, but they told some plumber just to change the entire flooring to shut us up. WTF?!? :evil: I was SOO pissed. GRRRRRRRRRR
Anyway. asides from that, it's been alright so far in London. I'm still really scared for the first day of classes. *sigh* While at Jack's last night, I was upstairs chatting with Dana, Herman, and Kay, and in our silent moments, I kept looking around, and I was wondering, if I saw M---, what I would do. Would I freak out and run outta there? Would I walk over there and talk to him like a normal person? Would I walk over there and be in tears or something? Would I walk over there and punch him? Would I pretend I didn't see him and pray he doesn't see me? Would I pretend I didn't see him but try to make him noticce me? Would I care? Would I cry if he was with someone else? What would happen?!? I was thinking about it, and for a moment, I thought I'd go talk to him and tell him how much I missed him and wished I didn't end it like that. And then I'm like, why the hell would I do that? I dunno. I still dunno how I'm gonna react when/if I see him. *sigh* :( I'm scared of how I'm gonna react. I need to decide now, and stand by it. "Will I be happier? No". I'm just scared he's gonna bring shit up, and I'm gonna get upset and cry. :? Why haven't I learned to control my emotions yet? *sigh* You'd think by this point in my life, I would've. But nope, I guess I am a slow learner. I want to pretend who I was a year ago. And start again. And redo my entire 20th year. Okay, the first 1/3 of my 20th year. But until I can figure out how to go back in time, I can't. I need to be thick skinned, and move on. That is what someone has shown me. I must learn. Let's see how long it takes me to catch on. :roll: I dunno.
Anyway. I don't really have much to say right now. Except that I wish my room was more clean and more liveable and had more breathable air. I currently have spiderwebs and dead bugs outside my window, along with a stolen McDonald's advertisement for $3.99 deli sandwiches. So I refuse to open my window to get "fresh" air. I hope the dehumidifier I had to purchase myself today helps with the air down here. It's draining to try to be "socialable". I just wanna hermit in my room and do nothing and not deal with people. I should just take all my courses online. Lol. So won't happen though. It'd be nice. 80% in summer distance course proves that I have enough discipline to do the work on my own! :wink:
|
|
5 Comments
|
| |
|
Get A Sticker Too
Get A Sticker Too
|
