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*HUGS* TOTAL! give Smilez_Alwayz more *HUGS*
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"Catch Me When I Fall" - Ashlee Simpson
12.30.05 (4:44 pm)   [edit]
Is anybody out there
DOes anybody see
That when the lights are off something's killing me
I know it seems like people care
cause they're always around me
but when the day is done and everybody runs
who will be the one to save me from myself
who will be the one who's there
and not ashamed to see me crawl
who's gonna catch me when i fall
when the show is over
and it's empty everywhere
it's hard to face going back alone
so i walk around the city
anything, anything to clear my head
i've got nowhere to go nowhere but home
who will be the one to save me from myself
who will be the one who's there
and not ashamed to see me crawl
who's gonna catch me when I fall
it may seem I have everything
but everything means nothing
when the ride that you've been on
that they're coming off
leaves you feeling lost
is anybody out there
does anybody see
that sometimes loneliness is just a part of me
-----
Nach got me Ashlee Simpson's newest album for my bday, and the only song that I find loop-worthy is this particular song. "Beautifully Broken" may be the next one - I'll let y'all know when I'm done looping this song. lol. she has some 80's sounding tracks... I dunno...it's gonna take a while to be able to listen to them...

Anyway. So, one of my (former) group members mentioned that he thinks I need 3.5 credits per year to be considered a full time student. if that IS the case, then I'm half-screwed, cause I was gonna take 3 courses next term (which btw, if I do, i will have tuesday, thursday, friday off, and only one 2hr class on wednesday :wink:). If I need to take 4 courses, then I'm going to have to drop one of my time-consuming classes, and take 2 other courses....ugh...perhaps databases and ... something?? I found that the full course load is 5.0 credits in a year. And that osap requires u to take 60% of the full coruseload to be qualified for OSAP. so, based on what I have researched, I'll be okay if I take 3 couress each semester. but my group member AND one of my roomates think it's 3.5.... perhaps <3.5 means they consider u part time, but u still qualify for osap? I dunno. I gotta call on ... Tuesday, cause that's the next day Im' available and the school's open. or so I HOPE they're open. I should look at osme courses, JUST in case I do need 4 courses next semester.... but since i can't add/drop anything until school starts, is houldn't stress TOO much...right? i still need to pick up PHP and Ember during this break... and if I don't drop 307, i gotta pick up some C++ too....oy....>
Anywho. I think I gotta go eat dinner (well, it's my first meal today...so i guess its breakfast) now... perhaps i'll look up some ember/php/c++ when I finsih my meal...
3 Comments
 
"Breathing" - Lifehouse
12.25.05 (10:34 pm)   [edit]



You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament



Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace.

You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions.

You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected.



It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional.

You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others.

While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well.



At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything.

You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams.

You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.







You Have Your PhD in Men



You understand men almost better than anyone.

You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well.

Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.


BAHAHAHAHHA!!! Right...... LOL


lol. these quizzes make me laugh :lol: :



You are a New Age Girl!



You're bright, opinionated, and dedicated to changing the world.

Even if it's one hybrid car at a time, you do you part to make things better.

In fact, you may be so busy with your causes that you have little time for love.

Take an extra yoga class or two, and you just might meet New Age Guy!




I wasn't gonna post this one...but out of sheer hilarity:



You Are a Total Girlie Girl



You love looking good, and wooing men with your womanly ways.

You're so feminine, men are in awe of you ... which is a very good thing.




if this is true, great!:



Your Reputation Is: Sweet Girl



While you're well known, there's nothing to worry about.

You're reputation is mostly good - as good as any rep can be.







You Are Ani Difranco!



Honest, real, and well liked.

You're not limited by any boundaries.

"And you can call me crazy

But I think you're as lazy as white paint on the wall"


...who?





You are a Dark Red Rose



You represent unconscious beauty and deep passion.



Your vibe: sophisticated and worldly



Falling in love with you is: wildly carnal and forbidden


It's forbidden to fall in love with me? wha?? lol ... what's "wildly carnal"?




You Are Strawberry Kiss Lip Gloss



When it comes to life, you want the best of everything:

The best clothes, the best friends, the best guy - and you usually get all three.



You impress most people you meet with your genuine class and style

Strawberry is a classic, admired flavor that goes with many things. Sound familar?


wow, I have class and style?


so many more quizzes I saw that i wanna take...but I gotta go to bed now, seeing how I have work in 6 hrs.......
0 Comments
 
It paid off!!
12.21.05 (10:32 am)   [edit]
OMGOMGOMG! I GOT SEVENTY-FIVE (75) PERCENT (%) IN MATH222!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My day after day after day, morning til night, days have PAID OFF!!!
okay, so, I'm sure you think 75 ain't that great. but the yearly statistic of that course is like, a 50% failure rate (not exagerating) and this dude who was taking it this year was retaking it because he wanted a higher mark. his 67% last year was the 5th highest mark of the class last year. SIXTY SEVEN! FIFTH HIGHEST! that's RIDICULOUS! Honestly, Math and CS dept are trying to kill us. But I'm hanging on! cause if I don't, I don't know what I'd do. I hate all the other subjects. Although, I help my roomate study her Chem stuff. well, not study, but memorize the periodic table. lol. I can list at last 1/3 of the periodic table now. haha, what a selling point on a resume :roll:

But anywho. 75 on my second attempt at math222. MAYBE i should consider taking math223. hum. i'll think about it. if i do, that means i'm gonna go for a specialization in CS. do I really awnna take the stats courses just for a specialized degree? yech...i'll think about it.

but now, i have an exam in 3.5 hrs and I'm totally screwed cause i spent the last 2 weeks studying two subjects - but of which I think I did well on. This Networks class is an entirely different story though...........man, I should've lokoed for a study buddy in THIS course too! lol. oh well. too late now.

excited for tonihht when I'll be DONE! :D *jumps around like turt*
4 Comments
 
the silence of Weldon library
12.20.05 (6:45 pm)   [edit]
So, i'm sitting at a computer at the library right now. I'm ATTEMPTING to study for my Networks exam tomorrow night. But, I've been staring at this stuff and things just aren't going into my friggen head! Honestly, when I need it to work, it doesn't. Then again, it doesn't really work when I don't need it to work. so...I don't know. lol

It's been my birthday for 23.5 hours now, and it started at 12:05am, when one of my roomates asked to see me about something in the living room. So I go, and I find my roomates and a cake 8) We sat around and opened bday/xmas gifts for a while and talked for a bit while we ate some cake that Ling thoughtfully bought. It was a good hour. :)

Earlier that night (ie: on the 19th), I had written an AWESOME math exam. It was like, EXACTLY like the 2001 practice exam we had. I better get a 70% on that. seriously. I feel like I got 70% easy. But...u never know. meh. i'm sure i'll find out in a couple of days.

Then while attempting to study at the lib this evening, my math/cs study buddy comes by and brought me a bday cake! AT THE LIBRARY! what a pleasant suprise! hehe! so now, because we couldn't finsih it, I have leftover cake in the library. and a TON of Networks to study - all by my lonesome self. :(

As I sit here and reflect on my 20th year, I really wonder what happened last year. Like, how I let things happen. It wasn't me. I let myself be tempted with one thing, and I suddenly wasn't myself anymore. This year, despite everything my first year roomie is saying, I'm not tempting myself, I will listen to myself. But I should be fair. I'm just waiting for the end of exams. I can't let last year happen again. Honestly. I just need to blend in, and pretend that I'm no different from all my other classmates - I'm gonna chop off my hair this holiday and I'm gonna look like a boy, just like everyone else in my classes. haha. i think it's a funny joke, but some ppl aren't laughing :roll:

anywho. i guess I SHOULD get back to my table(s) and study. oy. i SHOULD stay til 2, but honestly, if I can't even focus, I might as well go home and sleep. cause I have no idea what i learned in the last 5+ hrs. OISH.
0 Comments
 
I\\\'m alive!
12.16.05 (6:28 pm)   [edit]
Okay, so, maybe on tBlog, it doesn\'t seem like a big deal that it\'s been only a couple of days since my last blog, but I swear, I feel like I\'ve disappeared for a month and developed a new circle of friends. A pile of books, some dude who speaks random chinese to me, a few other CS ppl, and all the other poor students that still have exams and are studying at the library.

I have spent countless hours at the library this past 1.5 weeks. and there\'s gonna be another .75 weeks still. oy. my first exam was tonight (while i know a handful of ppl who have finished before i wrote my first one). I can\'t say i\'m completely satisfied with it, I feel like I studied some of the wrong stuff, but that last page was like, read, comprehend for .5 seconds, circle answer. it was sweet. the diagrams on the otherhand...oy...the diagrams.... I cant\' say it went that well...

it\'s been an interesting week actually. It wasn\'t COMPLETELY miserable. But I don\'t feel like I\'ve been QUITE productive enough, and yet, IF i zone out, it\'s for ALOT shorter periods than I used to, and i honestly don\'t zone out much anymore! So I don\'t know why I haven\'t gotten more accomplished yet! oy.......... I honestly cannot study. I\'m a terrible studier. what\'s wrong with me?!?! I will \"read\", and \"read\" it again. Like, I know in the past, things would be on my mind and I\'d be looking at the words in sequence, but my mind would COMPLETLEY be elsewhere, and i\'d do that for honestly more than a page. but now, why the heck is my head still not wokring?!?! oish. honestly. HONESTLY. I don\'t know.

Someone said today that I was a good MSN conversationalist and that I wasn\'t a moron like other ppl on his list. I thought I\'d document that I\'m not a moron. haha

I\'ve also been called cool in the last month.

I\'ve also been called a loser in the past month... :(

I\'ve also been called the man of our house here in London in the last couple of days. lol. I can\'t totally deny it. haha

Wednesday was actually a pretty good day - I renewed my drivers license (i hope my picture turns out better than my last one... ie: i wont\' look like i got stepped on... haha), and then we RANDOMLy decided for dinner, that we\'d all go to WonderSushi... it was soo good... hahaha. mmm.... now I want demetres...:)
5 Comments
 
"First Love" - Utada Hikaru
12.13.05 (7:49 pm)   [edit]
So. I should sleep. But, I'm not particularly sleepy. And I have lots to study. But I'm supposed to get my photo taken for my drivers license renewal. at 9am. it's 1am now. hum.
I was hoping this SE stuff would put me to sleep, but it's not working. it's not even interesting! I had too many decaf drinks today. oh man.

hehe, I said today, how Im' like, the total opposite to most ppl. I drink decaf so I COULD study. lol. Cause when I drink caffeinated now, I get all panicky/jittery/restless ... no good ... but it's oh so tasty! I had a decaf coretto with half the syrup at SC on the weekend. oh man, it's THE BEST drink I've had since the summer. lol. ....sooooooooooo good. oh man....i want one now........mmmMMMM!
0 Comments
 
how would u interpret this?
12.08.05 (5:02 pm)   [edit]
Someone that has CLEARLY been flirting with me for several days brings up during study-break-dinner that i'd pass the chinese parent test if i were to meet a chinese boyfriend's parents.................... *Raise eyebrow* although, really, I pass most (if not all) ppl's friend's parents test. Apparently, I'm like, the person to use as an excuse if they're going somewhere else that they don't want their parents to know about.

But yes. for potential (MAY not be applicable) future reference: I pass the chopsticks holding test and the eating all my food test. :lol:

u smell soooo good...even after u smoke...really strange.... but ... mmm... NO Mandy NO! ...:( ..he ... makes ... me ... smile ... again ...

something along the lines of ....
Prof: a function that has the property f(a*b)=f(a)*f(b) is called a homomorphism
dude: [under his breath] YOU'RE a homomorphism
baaahahahah!!!! :lol: I can't listen to Rankin say homomorphism without hearing the dude saying "u're a homomorphism" in my head...LOL
3 Comments
 
being serenated by Lifehouse
12.08.05 (11:08 am)   [edit]
yep. So, I actually don't know the titles of alot of their songs. And I listen to their 3 albums in a row on my MD, so, yep, it's all Lifehouse. hehe... makes me remember their awesome concert I attended back at the end of May. It was so good :)

I'm having some lack of concentration issues lately. I didn't think about it, but I was actually doing really good for concentration for a while. Like, when I studied for my second math midterm last month, and while I had to do all that stuff for that crazyass Spreadsheet application. But now, I dunno why, but, I'm thinking about random stuff again. Things that I don't want to be thinking about. Perhaps the presence of something somewhat familiar is the factor. It might be. You know, it's sort of my own fault. I'm not doing anything to indicate otherwise. I'm so mean sometimes. But, like, passively mean. hum.
Anyway. so yeah, things have just sparked my memory about random stuff. Random stuff that I had been really good about pushing outta my mind. I guess I didn't push it out, I just pushed it further from the surface of my mind. We shall see how exam studying goes. But seriously, today and yesterday has not been very productive yet. Focus Mandy. Focus. Keep your eye on the goal - pass 222 and never take it ever again.

I'm supposed to be doing my networks assignment that was technically due yesterday, but i have until monday to hand it in without penalty....:)
I should do that....ta ta
2 Comments
 
That was the most draining weekend of my life.
12.04.05 (4:23 pm)   [edit]
Thursday - went to the comp lab after our "group meeting" (the only person who showed up besides me, was the TA) at 1:30pm. Worked in the comp lab until 11:30pm. ...I had a muffin and a coffee at 3ish 4ish with some other ppl that were also working in the lab.
Friday - went to the comp lab after class at 1pm. Worked in the comp lab until 2:30am. I had no food except for a bowl of cereal that i had at 9am, and an apple at around 4 or 5pm.
Saturday - went to the comp lab for 10am (having only been gone from it for 7.5 hrs). Worked in comp lab until 11:30pm. Went to another comp lab to test and submit our group spreadsheet program. Submitted everything by 11:44pm.

Our group reflected over the last few days, as well as since the beginning of the semester. we all learned stuff from each other, and encouraged each other. I'm glad that we all pulled through until the end. I'm VERY glad that the one girl we had doubts about helped SOOOO much in the last stretch. Without her, we would've had so many more problems... oy.

I got a ride home from a group member, and I got excited when I saw lights on at my house. I burst thru the doors exclaiming "roomies! roomies! you're still up!!!". When I saw that no one came, and after knocking on asst. man.'s door and she didnt' answer, I felt really sad. and then I knocked on Ling's door, and she was there. and I felt so emotional when I saw her. and then Kay came up from the basement, and then I just started crying. :cry: ...weirdest thing ever ... I mean, I was happy that it was over, but the tears felt sad. I felt sad. I don't know why. I THINK i felt sad. I just felt, confused as to why I was so emotional all of a sudden. Perhaps because I was SOOOOOOOOOO panicky in that last few hours, and I had barely had any food in the last few days, and .. I dunno. I was just super confused when the tears started welling up in my eyes, and started rolling down my cheeks, and I couldn't stop them! ...:? Kay said it was probably relief.

So that was my Thursday-Saturday busy-ness. Damn was I busy. Honestly, that was such a draining project to be working on. Asides from geting up to get get water and for bathroom breaks, I was in front of a computer for 14 hrs on Friday!! oh wait, i took a break to call my roomies to rant/vent about how the project was going...
And now I need to do a follow up assignent for it. And I thought it was gonna be super easy, cause I already had 3/4 of it done from the stuff we handed in yesterday. But it's gonna take alot more work...:? ... oy. oh well. code is handed in. good enough. it works better than Thursday. lol

Now I've gotta concentrate on the last 2 assn'ts I have, and the 3 exams I have to ace. I need to get my average up again, after those stupid sociology courses I took last year :roll:. Anyway.

I'm still not 100% yet. I think I've eaten more today, than I had eaten on Friday and Saturday combined (perhaps Thursday as well). But I must still keep eating...hahaha



I'm flattered. I'm confused. I'm avoiding. I'm trying to ignore. I'm trying to keep the "buddies" status only. Reminder to self: don't try to get too close. but Damn, you smell gooooood. :wink: mmm....
2 Comments
 
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