How is it possible for it to only be less than a month ago that I had NO hw, and how I'm SUPER overloaded with work? It's not even like I didnt' do work in that first and second week fo school! I was entirely caught up! I even went to the library 4 times in the first week of school, and I only HAD 2 days of classes. This is ridiculous!  JEEBUS.  Assignment due tomrorow (at the rate I'm going at, I'm not gonna pass this assignment :(  anyone know lotsa C++ and wanna help? lol), a summary on readings due tomorrow (i just need to summarise my study notes), a 1-question math assignment due wednesday, and a Math midterm on Saturday.  WTF.  Last week, I only worked for 45 minutes. and that was from home in my PJs! oish!!!!!!  I need to work more! I need money!! and a good reference!!! and at the rate i'm going, i'm never gonna get the project done for him before the end fo the semster. therefore, BAD reference. :?

Anywho. That's just an explanation of why i haven't been on as much lately, and where I'll be for the next week.  

I should be writing a 1-pg summary right now. and then learning some C++ for my next major assignemnt which is due next Monday....I'm screwed...cause i'm going home next weekend too...oish!

Just wanted to mention my weekend trip to Windsor. Started Friday afternoon when my roomate, Kalen, and I drove to Windsor. We got to her friend's place, and her place looked like a hurricane hit it. It looked like my room from 4 years ago before I cleaned it and went away to University. And trust me, it was bad. piles of crap EVERYWHERE. oish. so Kay and I spent some time on Friday helping her clean her apartment up. we made a trip to cdn tire to get storage bins and whatnot to help her organize. lol. it was funny. saturday night we went to a town 40min out of windsor to see a play/show that her friend was in (the reason why we went to windsor int he first place). it was good - too little time to describe much of anything right now.  But while there, Kay and I studied (we're nerds like that) before and after the show. And when we got bored of studying, we played chess. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, i brought a traveller sized magnetic chess board with me, and we spent part of our saturday night playing chess. I guess we sort of changed some people's view of us UWO students. hahahaha.

You know that phrase, you are what you eat?
You know how sometimes people say that they/you're not a very smart cookie? well, I say that.
So I said that I wasn't a smart cookie, and Kay said taht I wasn't a cookie, and I said taht i eat so many cookies, I might as well be a cookie.
Thougth I'd mention that randomness.

there was some othe stuff. but too little time for me to sit here andt hink, due to bad memory.
People are starting to know just how bad my memory really is...worries me. I really need to try to remember things better. I never used to be THIS bad...I can totally see me getting alzheimers when I'm 30. I wouldn't be surprised. Although, I DO remember random stuff that would say that would say that I have a good memory. but. i dunno. weird.

I'm trying to reconnect with the people I care about right now.  I want them to know that I'm here for them when they need me. If I haven't gotten to you yet, it's cause I DO have this assignment coming up... but i'll get to you soon. I make time for other people, when appropriate.  I try to balance myself that way. It's still a learning curve though. 

A year ago today, I was in a very confusing situation. I was also excited about a new relationship. I was also not as sad as I am at this moment. I was happy.
A year ago today, I had someone I cared about, and they said they cared about me too.
A year ago today, I listened to my heart instead of my head.
I'm such a silly girl. Now things have changed. I have changed. And I will always wonder how things would have happened, if I had just listened to my head.
I should've risked regretting, than to have let things happen. 
And now I shall suffer.

That's the lesson I learned this year. Listen to your fucking head. Don't trust anyone. Untrustable until proven trustable.

Forgive me for being so cold. But I tried the opposite for once. And it's landed me where I am now. It hurts.

I hope your birthday this year didn't start off like it did last year. If it did, my condolences for the other person.

Can hold my breath only for a little while 'til reality starts sinking in 
once again i'm settling for second best turn the pages skip to the end 
to where i swore that i would try since the last time i crossed that line in the back of my mind i know 

it only hurts when your eyes are open lies get tossed and truth is spoken it only hurts when that door
gets open dreams are lost and hearts are broken

miles away promise from a burning bed two worlds should never collide
one word would end it if you ever heard tear the page out that reminds me 
when i swore that i'd be strong now the next time has come and gone well maybe i'm wrong i know

it only hurts when your eyes are open lies get tossed and truth is spoken it only hurts when that door
gets open dreams are lost and hearts are broken

i know what your feeling it's hard to believe in someone, someone who's not there 
i know that your waiting 'cause love is worth saving but only for so long, so long, so long

i swore that i would try since the last time, the last time

it only hurts when your eyes are open lies get tossed and truth is spoken it only hurts when that door
gets open dreams are lost and hearts are broken

it only hurts when your eyes are open lies get tossed and truth is spoken it only hurts when that door
gets open dreams are lost and hearts are broken

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I can't believe the hurt was so deep that it is STILL there. :( 
Frig. 6hrs.  I need the entire week just to recover. 

Haven't been feeling well lately. physically and emotionally. I should eat healthier. Maybe that'll help
 

Two main memories from my first visit to the newest club in London (Ontario):

1) Song: "Hollaback Girl" - Gwen Stefani.
Scenario: The bunch of us dancing, and I hear a whole bunch of people in the building singing/yelling out the lyrics to the song. We get to the part where Stefani goes "this is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s" or something like that. Hana laughs and points behind me. I turn. and LAUGH at a bunch of chinese people TOTALLY into the song and singing about bananas. They were probably a bunch of bananas too. I turned back around and i couldn't stop laughing 5 minutes after the fact. lol. I really wish I took a picture of that. it was great :D

2) Scenario: I was dancing (*gasp*!) and accidently stepped on someone behind me. I turn around to apologize, only to find some short-ish asian dude standing like, RIGHT behind me. FREAKED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!! So Hana and I attempt this whole rotating thing, and it was BEYOND obvious, and eventually Kay, Hana, and I all switched places, and the asian dude just kinda moved from one asian girl to another. And then we mention this to one of Tracey's friends, and she's like, "Elbows!!!!" and she demonstrates, which I react to by literally falling to the floor laughing. I get back up, and when I see her ACTUALLY dancing like that cause the guy was behind her, I fall back down laughing. I did this like, 5 times. At least. it was hilarious. oh man. It was probably also the alcohol in me that made me laugh even more than usual. But I only had ... 1 drink and 1 shot. lol. man, I'm so lightweight. I don't need to predrink for that sole reason. Meh, it hurts my bank account less :)

So, I had a decent time at 29th on Park. It's so nice there. they had velvet walls !! it's nuts. lol. It wasn't busy at all when we got there. but then it got busier. and busier. and then when we got tired of dancing, that's when the gino beats started up again.... so we left soon after. at like, 12. lol. but we got there at like, 9:30ish.

I've learnt that it's kinda fun when there's weird people you want to stay away from in a club. it makes it all the more entertaining. haha. And Elbows. haha. It's all about the elbows. I'll try it next time. !!

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I got the latest Default album, "One Thing Remains". I'm really enjoying track 3, 5, and 9. I'll post lyrics later. Right now, I gotta catch up with some homework (I've already been the library like, 4 times since school started about 6 days ago).

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So, tBlog has changed its site. alot. it's gonna take some getting used to. at least everything is still blue. now, if they take that away from me, i might have to relocate. lol

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