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| "It Only Hurts" - Default |
| 03.24.06 (2:26 pm) [edit] |
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I am surrounded by great people.
No one in particular is making be upset or anything. I am only upset when I think about the past, or usual life stuff. The past is just a residue now. I need to keep moving forward, clean off the residue until It is no longer there. Through my untrustingness that I still have for people, I can sort of see that it COULD be possible that they're still good people. Despite being a typical human, it's just how it goes, right? I just gotta learn to live with it. I reserve the right to remain untrusting though. But I don't need to be entirely grumpy either.
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3 Comments
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| :^) |
| 03.15.06 (6:32 pm) [edit] |
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I saw m--- today when I went to talk to the TA for one of the classes we have together. I walked into the room, saw him, hesitated, stayed at the door, and then stood in the hall until they were done. I put my music on and stared at the floor. and was like that when he came out. I heard him say something involving my name, so I'm sure he said something to me, but I didn't really hear him. So I didn't respond or bother to look up, cause, well, I'm not talking to him if I don't ever have to for the rest of my life.
It didnt' bug me as much as I thought it would. I mean, it did, but it didn't consume my day, like it would've if that had happened 5 months ago.
Wow. 5 months. plus the summer. Why does it still bug me so much?
I'm in that state where I'm not quite sure it happened. I mean, I have these random thoughts that I think are memories. But were they really? Did I imagine everything? I feel pain. I feel hate. I feel empty. I mean, it had to have come from SOMEWHERE/ONE, right? *-) It's weird. The past seems like a story that I know enough to feel it, but it didn't really happen. I mean, something that dumb couldn't have happened, could it? It's just too dumb for it to ever happen. hmm. What idiot would ever let that happen and actually fall for it all? It's too idiotic to ever be done by anyone. So it didn't happen, right?
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3 Comments
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| Crappy Crappy day. :( |
| 03.13.06 (1:35 pm) [edit] |
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I got several marks back today. 3 of them were for one class that i highly dislike the prof cause he doesn't get back to you about anything. for instance, basically, for the 3 assn'ts i handed in so far, i lose marks for the same thing cause he never got our marks back to us soon enough to know that we needed to change stuff.
I thought I did well for the second one too. But no. same crappy mark as the first assn't.
and we got the midterm back from that one. actually, it's not bad. it's just around average (well, just below. but compared to the other marks i got today, it's like, a gold star)
And we got back math. :'(
I know I didn't study AS much as my previous math exams, but... i know. I can't even use the hospital visit as an excuse cause I should've started studying earlier anyway. frig. And i wasted my entire weekend away cause I thought I was doing okay on both of those classes. I guess not.
It's a nice day outside, but i'm having such a crappy day that I can't even enjoy it. plus on top of it, i saw .... and memories just found their way back into my thoughts. the good and the bad. :(
I shouldn't be at school right now. i remember one year ago. and now. why... must...truck...on....take deep deep deep breaths... i can and i will get through this. don't cry mandy, u're a big girl. big girls don't cry. *-) wait, i think the saying goes big boys don't cry. i'm into boy-like things sometimes, does that make me a boy? lol. anyway. i need to do work.
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4 Comments
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