I need out. Out of this cycle. Out of my old memories. Out of the past that I want to forget.

On the "plus" side, at least I'm not thinking about all the bad stuff, and feeling all the hatred and everything that sprung from it.  But thinking about the "good" times we had isn't good either - it just makes me want someone "for myself" - which I know that I am totally not ready for, perhaps not even ever in my life time. It's just not one of my characteristics - to share myself with another person. I can be independent - I AM independent. somewhat. lol.  And I want to keep it that way .... it'd just be alot easier if I didn't have sporadic "feelings" that make me think otherwise. bleh. Why does being human have such annoyances tied to it?  Can't I just BE a computer? Execute instructions as programmed into me? Even Artificial Intelligence isn't real thinking - it is just a set of instructions that are executed, based on a HUGE set of rules that are made up for the robot/computer.


That was random ...

I was leaving class last night, and while walking to the bus stop, I noticed a guy walking in the opposite direction, passing me. I *think* we made eye contact briefly, but it was dark, so i'm not positive. lol. ANYWHO. so it took a second to place the face. Perhaps Mike from first year?!? After we passed, I looked back at him, and he had a slight limp! I recognise that limp from first year!

So I'm pretty sure it's the same guy as the one I met in CS in first year. I saw him again when I was on the bus and passed him as he reached his car.

After I got off the bus and was walking back to the house to get ready for Laura's bday celebration (which to be honest, I didn't REALLY wanna go, cause it was Wednesday night and I had work in the morning, then straight to class), I just had this giddy feeling...  He's still at UWO!  I was thinking that he left or something, cause I saw him ONCE in Second year (I think he switched to Kin), and haven't seen him since.  I forgot about him for a while, until now... lol

Aww, I miss our innocent little convos that were a bit awkward cause I'm usually shy around ppl I like.  lol.

So I've been happier since last night. ... oy. no boys. no boys!! I doubt i'll see him again. maybe next year. but still highly unlikely.

:)

Hope all is well on all your (people reading this) ends!