Hmm. So I haven't blogged since last year. Interesting. hah.
So, I don't know what to think of the situation I'm in right now with Mike. I mean, I'm really happy, yet so scared, because he's been back for a week and a day, and I've seen him ALOT. hah, and alotta him as well. Things are moving really fast, maybe even dangerously fast. I enjoy the time I spend with him, even though some are awkward when the ex-gf comes up in conversations or u know, when she calls because she misses him. AGH. I felt so withdrawn from him the next time we were together, he knew that it was botherine me, but, he wanted me to put into words exactly what, how it bothered me. But, Is it something that can be described others than uncomfortable and it makes me feel like such a terrible person? He's assured me time and time again, that I shouldn't feel bad, none of it was my doing, even though, I know, and she knows, that if I had sad no in the first place, none of this prolly would have happened. Which makes me feel SOOOOOOOO bad. Because I agree. However, I guess, from the friend perspective, it's better this way for him, because, he shouldn't be locked into something that he didn't truly want. But, I just can't shake that feeling. It took me so long to finally talk to him last night. But, I guess once I got over that feeling, put it aside, it was okay again. I asked him to stay over cause, well, just cause I wanted him to. Nothing really happened. It easily could've, but, it was way too soon. One week. I can't get over that fact. Honestly though, last week, I didn't see any of this happening. I kinda ponder what the roomies think; I mean, they see him more than our 6th and 7th roomie. lol. But yeah. I think that's enough on that topic for now.
So, I've decided, to do a 3 year major in CS now, instead of the Specialization I'm in right now. Mostly because of the math, and because, well, I just won't make it that far, I don't think. I just realised today, though, that I still need another full credit of essay courses :? This is gonna make my schedule tighter than anticipated. OY. I'll still have an extra space, but I really hoped that I would'nt have a full 5 course load in each semester. Especailly with 3rd year CS courses, I know essays will make it alot more difficult. OY. Next year, I MUST learn to FOCUS. I also decided to move out from our current apartment. I love the convenience of it, but, I think, because it is so convenient, that I don't ever take advantage of my breaks in betetween classes to study. I go home, eat, clean, go back to class. It's terrible! So, I hope living further next year with less people will be better. Because, I really need to buckle down and study every single day! agh! I need to learn to be organized. :?
Oh, the roomies and I are planning a roadtrip to FLorida for Reading Week. Gonna go to Disney World for a few days. I wonder if my parents will greatly object. If they do, I guess it's easier on the bank account, but, if they let me, I think it'll be a fun adventure. heh. So, that's just in the planning while ppl ask for permissions and such. Yup. That's it for now I suppose.
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