I had a pretty deep sleep last night. Probably because I had less than 3 and 5 hours of sleep in the previous two days. I think I slept through my radio alarm clock for a full hour before I finally thought about looking at it. lol. Thank goodness I set it early! haha. I was up studying for 208 on Tuesday night, and at some point, Mike and I started talking about stuff. He asked blogs. He apparently has no idea what they are, which really suprises me. But he asked me a bit of what I write on here. I told him a bit, and then I had a few "spiels" as I called it at the time of what I felt, why I felt it, and stuff like that. I even told him stuff that I only put on my other blog. I think he probably thinks I'm a different person now. I don't know. He's probably seeing me in a different "light" now. He seemed pretty quiet the next morning, I don't think I've ever seen him like that. He said it was just cause it was early, but I dunno. He was probably just thinking. I don't think he got much sleep though, cause we were chatting until like, 2:30am, and then I went over to his place and we talked a bit more. I fell asleep prolly around 4:30ish, but knowing him and his non-stop thinking, he prolly didn't sleep an hour (I had to get up at 7 for midterm at 9).

He said I should ignore what he said back in December, all that stuff about the "future" and stuff, and just have fun for now, if that's want. I do want to have fun; be happy. But I don't know how I'll feel when the day comes that we're gonna hafta split up. We'd still try to be friends, but, look at him and his ex, she finally entirely broke it off (including communicating) on Monday because it was too hard. But probably because she hurt so much. I don't know what I'm going to do. But, I'll try this (yet again) and hopefully it'll work out okay. The thing is, I want someone to talk to, to pour my heart and feelings out to, but if I know he's only a temporary figure in my life, then, I don't know if I should. I told him something, and he seemed a bit disturbed (maybe that's not the reaction i'mlooknig for...but i can't think of the word right now) by it (he was using his webcam and I saw him react to the stuff I said to him). He told me I have to start talking to him, exactly what I'm feeling, but, I don't want to hurt HIM with my hurt. Because alot of my pain has nothing to do with him. I don't know if he understands that. And I don't want my own emotional instability to affect him. I know he worries, and it's sweet, but I don't think it's something anyone can change. I just hope he doesn't think he can equate making it better by making me "happy" (referring to sociology terms now). I dunno. that's another discussion for another time. Right now, we're both busy with school.

Anyway, speaking of school, that is where I am right now, supposedly working on my writing assn't due in 3 hours.