It's been an alright day. Saw "Kung Fu Hustle" with Steph today. There were 3 ppl in the entire theatre. It was AWESOME! The two of us, and this old lady. lol. but yeah. I suggested that Steph and I take up Kung Fu this summer, and we won't need a gym membership or equipment - we just need some sticks. And we can prolly get it from work. She can take the mop, and I'll take the broom. :lol:

So, I'm sitting here, browsing thru the distance studies website thing. And, It is slowly dawning on me that, I have HW to do this summer. ugh.

WARNING: the following contains some angry swearing. Sorry about that in advance.

I have this one line from the title song in my head "Sick and tired of being sick and tired", and the more I repeat it in my head, the more I realise that I really am sick and tired of being sick and tired of waiting for something to happen with this whole Mike situation. Fuck it, I am clearly waiting for nothing. I messed up somewhere along the way, and so did he. And, I don't know if he iwas waiting for me to do something about it, or if he just doesn't care. But you know what? I need to stop this stupid game that I'm playing with, apparently, myself. It ain't getting nowhere. And the more I think about it, the more it eats at me. And honestly, it just pisses me off more and more. I am still very sad all this happened. And even a month after the fact, I still cry about it. And I probably still will, even after this "epiphany"-like realization. But, I realise it now. And, even if this whole process takes me a freakin year, I will get thru it. I don't need someone I cannot talk to, cannot rely on, and cannot fully trust. Fuck it. IF he ever msgs me, fine. But, I am not gonna wait around anymore, and I am not gonna try msging him anymore if I have no really good reason.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if all of that happened. A buddy of mine wonders how/why someone who's older, and has a PhD is interested in him, and I wonder the same about me. How/why did Mike ever like me, when he has been, and can be so sucessful? Like, someone SOO smart, LIKE someone like me? Sometimes I just think he made all that shit up. You can keep on telling me that you're telling the honest truth, but, I honestly cannot trust what you say, and have said to me in the past. Fuck you, Mike, FUCK YOU. I think I have gotten over that sad period, and I am just in that angry stage after a breakup. Oh boy, I wonder what is next?