| piece of craaaap. |
 Blog For Free! Archives Home 2009 February 2008 January 2007 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 August 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 June 2006 May 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2005 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2004 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2003 December My Links Guestbook My Website Friendster The Art Institute of Toronto Rawk's Blog Sillylittlegirl's Blog tBlog My Profile Send tMail My tFriends My Images Sponsored Blog *HUGS* TOTAL! give Smilez_Alwayz more *HUGS* Get hugs of your own 
|
posted by: kay (reply) post date: 05.19.05 (11:36 am) i'd like to help, but i currently need my own help so i wouldn't be the one to say, "oh, i know how to help you" cause i can't help myself. Talking doesn't help for me, thinking about it hurts and there are so many little reminders of the past that are always in my face - i think that's why i can't "forget" about it! as i ramble i dont' think i'm helping but i'm saying what i currently feel. I know that what happened in the past still matters to me cause tears and saddness mean's i'm not 100% over it, i want to but it's something you can't force to be over- even if you try really hard. The past is a part of you even if it sucks. I don't know if you can ever escape it, or forget about it, but some how i guess you have to just forget about it- but here it goes again, how can you forget about somethings that have reminders? it's so hard! i'm still in this stupid cycle, partly bc i have let myself stay in it i guess, i haven't done enough to make it stop cause it's still here, grrrrrr my problem is that i'm too nice .... i want to help people even if they have hurt me, i guess i see the good in people no matter what - and that is why i am at a loss. the past is a mjr part of one's life and it's something that is really hard to escape - i don't really think that you can escape it, but just accept it :( i guess what i am is disappointed, disappointed that i'd let myself get to this point, the point where things can bother me so much, i am struggling to breathe. can we breakfree and still be able to go back and look and say, yeah it happened and i'm ok with it? hum... i honestly want out!!! i want out of this friggin cycle - when i'm starting to feel good again, something i see or hear makes me go back and be unhappy all over again. but this is life right? this kind of S*** will keeping happening if we don't stop it.....but at the same time, you have to think positive about the future, the present. - i swear we are living in a game and people are watching us and laughing, well hahaha it's not funny - for god's sake, give us a break! we haven't done anything wrong so why are we in a blurr of uncertainty>?! grrrr angry again .... but it's true, the ones you can trust are your stuffed animals, they can take all the shit and will still smile. i luv em :) - i thought i should end my little rant on a happier note - toodles ~kay~ |
Get A Sticker Too |