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| Angry words. |
| 05.28.05 (7:46 pm) [edit] |
"Not Listening" - Papa Roach
I'm not listening
not anymore
the more I learn
the more I ignore
I'm not listening not anymore
the more I hear the more I ignore
'cause you gotta be bigger
be faster
be stronger
if you're gonna survive any longer
this lifetime better be the right time
'cause your first time might be your list time
am I a failure
if I got nothing to lose? no I'm not a failure
I've got something to prove
because I've lost my innocence
and I'm a stranger
a life changer
I'm a man
so fuck you! I've made my own plans
I've got respect
and I don't neglect the people I really care to protect
am I a failure
if I got nothing to lose? no I'm not a failure
I've got something to prove
I told you before
I won't listen no more! I told you before let's settle the score!
if not me then who?
if not now then when?
FUCK YOU MIKE. Every time you try to talk about that topic, you always make me feel like shit. And you know what? I think that is the last time I'm taking it. You say that I make you out as the bad guy, when I really think you are making ME out to be the bad guy. Stop saying shit. I can't take it anymore. I won't take it anymore. You have made me cry one too many times. I am crying now, after having just talked to you, and quite honestly, I don't think I want to talk to you anymore. It just all ends the same. You may have tried to help me fix my problems, but you make the problem WORSE, to the point where I am even more ashamed to talk about it. Fuck you, Mike, honestly. Go fuck yourself. Leave me alone. I don't need you. I don't care what you think of me, the positive and negative, the pre and post. I'm not submitting myself to you again. I will not. I did it once, I did it twice, I did it several times, but no more. Maybe if you hadn't submitted urself to ur ex-fiancee that night, I could've at least left the relationship with a bit more dignity. I don't know what you call it, but to me, you cheated. You say whatever you need to make yourself feel better, just like you tell me to. Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. Whatever. It doesn't change the fact that you did it.
You have probably changed me more than any one single person has ever changed me, some for the good (I am more productive), but some for the bad (I don't care quite as much anymore. I am not as trusting. I am not as innocent. I am not as nice.) ...And I am very angry that someone that has had that much influence on me, is someone that I no longer want to talk to anymore. You know you make me cry, so why do you do it when you SAY you care? As long as you make me feel like shit, I cannot talk to you. You changed that about me. At one point in the last year, I would talk to someone, even if they hurt me. I talked to you, listened to you, and I cried at the monitor, just to let you talk about stuff. And you had no idea. No more. I just won't let you talk. Stop telling me what to do. I won't listen. [listen to the song above]
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